All l know is, l finally got enough money…

that l can buy my way out of anything.

l can do anything l want when l get my money later.

And l won!

Finally, Big Ern is above the law!

lt’s a great feeling.

Maybe you’ve already heard, but I did manage to win a bowling tournament at South Bowl. Half drunk I should add. I’ll go over some of the finer points on my win against 23 other bowlers in an NCAA tournament like, 9 tap (9’s are considered strikes), single elimination structure.

The first match started with 3 people on a lane and the top 2 advance. I threw an open in the 3rd frame which is a big no-no and had me behind. I ended up closing with 6 strikes and advanced with a 242. Next I rolled against a guy who wasn’t in my league. I wasn’t even striking but he handed it to me. The next game I was rolling fine and hit a washout in the 10th to seal the deal. I was down to the final 4 and the next guy didn’t bowl so well and I won with no drama to advance to the final game.

The bowler I was up against had just rolled 2 300 games in a row but I wasn’t worried. Any lane at any time can give someone trouble. In bizarre fashion we both had splits in the 2nd frame. He left another open and I knew I had a great chance to win as long as I stayed tough. I was picking up a few strikes and hitting all my spares until the 9th frame when I was ahead and he was coming off of about 4 strikes. I threw a 7 10 and thought I was toast. It was pretty much all over…until he threw a 7 10. I needed to close with 2 strikes in order to win and it’s why I’m the anchor. In big spots, TC doesn’t fuck around and I took the title with a 210-202 victory. It pocketed me $180 dollars which I’ve already spent.