“Fuck with me and I’ll sit on you.”
It’s easy to say, “I hate Kim Kardashian because she wears fur, she has a fat ass, and she named her kid a direction”, but that’s too easy. I don’t even dislike her though because she seems to know what she’s doing amidst so much negative attention and doesn’t seem to crumble. This list though will take on celebrities who I feel are actually liked, but for the reason (and this is what I concluded after thinking about it) that other people like them, I dislike them.
You’ve Done Nothing to Upset Me…and I Still Dislike You
Amy Schumer
“Would you do me? Oh, you’d so do me.”
She’s not model pretty but she’s better looking than the average female and she uses this to her advantage because, once again, she’s not hilarious but she’s funnier than the average comedian. I don’t find her schtick funny though. How many times can she tell stories of her sexual failures or use the word vagina and penis? I haven’t even seen any bit of work she’s ever done so I’m pretty much taking a stance without doing any research but this will most likely be my conclusion either way because other people think “she’s so damn funny.”
Steven Colbert
“My nickname is Gray Bush.”
He seems like a second rate Jon Stewart. I’ve never seen the Colbert Report but I think I get the gist -a bunch of democrats laugh hysterically at unfunny jokes that are told from someone they’ve hoisted onto their shoulders. Now he’s getting a late night show. Maybe he’s funny. Maybe he’s not. I don’t care.
Madonna
“Just benched 400. Let’s do 450”
Stop, Madonna. Just stop. You’re 57 years old. You just released an album titled “Rebel Heart” and have a track on it called “Bitch, I’m Madonna” with Nicki Minaj. The track sounds like my garbage disposal when I get a coin stuck in it. You were huge in the 80’s being a sexual icon but you can’t still strut your weird ass powerful arms and sing new age pop songs. Instead of producing the same pop albums that you did in the 80’s, why don’t you try painting or teaching a yoga class.
Kevin Hart
“I’m confused what time of the year it is.”
This picture pissed me off. It’s from the Rolling Stone and look at this guy parading his washboard abs and stupid coat. He creates crappy movie after crappy movie and our society just lets him slide by because he’s “funny”. Funny in what? Ride Along was a fucking joke and it’s making a sequel. Grudge Match? The 5 Year Engagement? Maybe you’re a stand up genius but your movies suck.
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