Dunkin Donuts Owes Me 5%

Too much cream cheese in the middle.

Too much cream cheese in the middle.

This picture shows the issue that I have on a daily basis with the Dunkin Donut’s bagels.  Notice the glob of cream cheese in the middle and all of the excess cream cheese on the wrapper.  This is how much is left after I’ve already tried to wipe it off.  It  is impossible to eat properly unless I only want to eat globs of cream cheese.  What are my options?

1) Use my fingers to push the cream cheese out.  This is messy and unsanitary.

2) Eat around the mess in the middle.  Not practical.

3) Throw it out.

As you can guess, I usually throw it out.  This happens to me every single time I get a bagel from Dunkin.  The meal that I get medium coffee, glazed donut, and 1 bagel costs $4.83.  Every day about 15 cents of that goes to waste.  This is not fair.   I also like my bagel toasted much more than they do but that’s another story.  Where’s my check?

Tom Stortz

Enjoying my last few responsibility free years left.


  1. jkash   •  

    I want to understand and empathize with this issue, but I’m eternally distracted by an apostrophe being inserted in the middle of a proper noun. Even if it wasn’t a proper noun, pluralizing “donut” would never call for punctuation. You’re probably going to call me a d*ck for pointing this out, but you know me well enough to realize that I don’t mind being a d*ck.

  2. Tom Stortz   •     Author

    Is that right? Doesn’t that mean that many Dunkin Donuts owe me 5%? Or does Dunkin Donut owe me 5%? Neither of these options made sense so I went with the apostrophe.

  3. Tom Stortz   •     Author

    I also don’t think you’re a dick.

  4. jkash   •  

    The company name is a proper noun that just so happens to be plural. Don’t get hung up on it.

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